I’m still learning this.
My healing process involves a lot of time spent trying to convince myself that people and life outside of my home are safe for me emotionally, and that the emotional risk of liking and trusting people will not destroy me, even if I get rejected.
No amount of reassurance from anyone ever fully convinces the wounded part of me to believe I’m worthy or safe. I’m aware of this part, and I’m reasonably at peace with it, and I’m working specifically on unburdening and healing that part.
I guess what I’m saying is:
I’m agoraphobic and pushing myself past that in order to build the community I need in order to heal is hard.
I spent five years refusing to leave my house. Being that isolated, for that long does some unusual things to a person’s personality. All of my
sharp edges got sharper, and all of my social quirks and fears sort of grew more and more magnified in isolation.
*title is a quote from the song “Teardrop” by Massive Attack
From Seed to Fruit 